How many of you has despise yourself ?.. Feeling uneasy with your action ?.. Anxious ?..

I am not knowing exactly how I am actually. Mostly feeling all high and mighty. Always want to be above all and actually drive my dearest person to me hard as the current me. Me: not really know that that’s how I am.

At one time, I am joining new group for lunch. Never go out with them before. As for this one guy said, “…you have change of wind. It is so sudden. Hahaha…”

I got no problem with it hahaha..

Then, we got our lunch. Chit chatting about this and that. Me, mostly I’m keep quite, just few time fill in the blank of the conversation. But then, there are side of me who want to be acknowledge.. actually not acknowledge also, it is more like “I want to join them” and not just fill in the blank.. it is the urge to be accepted, to be accepted into the group.

…. Until then, we came to this on conversation that I am more familiar, involves my association with that person we are talking about. No good thing on her, just not very bad also. But, because me who want to be accepted so much, I blurted out something I shouldn’t about her. Wow!.. I’m the worst.

I’m the worst. Just realize it after awhile. Taken aback.

Why do I said it ?.. Why not I be myself ?.. “Let them accept me as who I am, and not because who the person I’m talking shit about.” That’s what I’m keep on thinking. I want to be myself. To love myself more. To change what is bad, and ship to good.

And actually…

What is Good?!                                                                                                                               What is Bad?!!

I also don’t know how this classification goes.

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Domo.. Domo..

Long time have leave this.

There’s suddenly this urge to write. Want to share something which I can’t talk face to face with others but keep on story telling in the innersight.

You know, what is money to you ?

Some people said money is not important as long as you have happiness or someone special by your side. But there are also a group of people whose agree that without money you won’t be happy. Not happy because you can’t buy the things that you really want, and can’t fulfill the needs of your love one.

Yeahhh.. I’m on the second category where money is very important. Waiting for salary to come in every month.

But, you know what..                                                                                                                     It’s not only me who is waiting every month.

Just now, that sister has compared her friend’s pain due to labour waiting for the contractions to occur, as – “…it must be hard for her. Just like we are in the middle of the month, salary already gone and waiting for the next salary to come in.”


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If can…

I want to get rid my memory. Now and until then.


If can…let it be since I’m in my kindergarten. I want to remember nothing since I’m at that age. That was cruel of  me to do something like that to myself. I don’t know why am I, at that age but know and have knowledge that I shouldn’t gather as a kid. It is not really bad as for a kid to know it during that time but as the time pass, I’m getting older and without realize it, the memory come alive as it just happen yesterday and will continue to happen. I don’t know as if for this memory are making me, who am I now. Lack of confidence, shy?, wandering in deep thought, less efficient…lots to say but difficult to write.




Because we are binding to the past, we can’t straighten our mind to move forward for better day…wonderful moment…creating nice memory…and treasure it.

Can we forget our past? Of Course can if we choose to…


If we can’t forget it, that will be the most powerful pain we ever felt and…right this moment, we will be lonely. Thinking that no one can be…want to be our friends. Everything we do as it is all wrong.

Lost confidence.

Can move forward?

Our HEART know the answer…

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So many days left before the final exam and before I can go back home. Its so boring here and think about study only, it really can make me crazy all over heh…heh…heh…Angry smile So lets see if I can make some fun with this story and PRETEND to be like an author a little bit heh…heh…heh…Angry smile


I don’t know what’s so wrong about me. Do I have animals instincts or what. Can tell what others think about me?? It’s look like impossible but possible for me…I think. I can’t look through their eyes because there are something in their eyes that I don’t like. I feel something that other people won’t understand it. The eyes that looks like it tell me to go away. The eyes that don’t like me. The eyes that don’t want to talk to me. The eyes that looks like they know all my secret. The eyes that make me scare to make an eye contact. It sweep all my confident. Why do they need to show me that’s eyes. I don’t want it. I hate it. Please! tell me directly if I’m doing wrong BUT don’t give me that freak eyes. Is so scary. How long I need to burden with this feeling. Nobody seems to understand me. It so tired to be alone in a maize where it can make you crazy and make you to kill yourself. Interaction with people really hard and it almost cause all my life for it.

Don’t Don’t Don’t!!! Please Go!!! Don’t can to me, Don’t talk to me with that eyes of yours. There are no sincerity. I can’t feel it. Your sincere. I’m sorry. And…Please GO!

How long I need to be liked this? Can somebody help me??

It is a curse, isn’t?

This picture is taken from Google

This picture is taken from Google.

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Fall In Love?!



I’m just finish watching Skip Beat and I’m fall in love with it. Since me too never find a true love, it make me think what kind of person i’ll meet in future and how does it feel actually..How hat it feel to be in love with person that truly love ourselves?myself? That can accept my everything?! Is it that wonderful and important as portray by the characters? And most importantly, I really don’t know how does love feel…


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130327 – Super Junior’s Eunhyuk in talks to join Kang Ho Dong on his new SBS variety show

Let's Learn About Super Junior!~


Super Junior‘s Eunhyuk might be teaming up with Kang Ho Dong on the MC’s new SBS variety show!

Eunhyuk’s reps stated, “It is true that he received the casting offer to join the program that will befollowing after the conclusion of ‘K-pop Star 2‘. But nothing has been confirmed due to scheduling issues. We’re reviewing the offer at the moment.”

The highly anticipated variety show will feature Kim Hyun Joong, Yoon Jong Shin, Yoo Se Yoon, Kim Bum Soo, and Yoon Si Yoon, as well as Lee Soo Geun. The program is planning on 7 members in all, and the final member is currently being decided upon and fan are anxious to see if that member will be Eunhyuk.

The show will be led by Kang Ho Dong and PD Jang Hyuk Jae of ‘Family Outing‘ and the cast will travel…

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130327 – Super Junior’s Leeteuk Says Yesung Will Do Fine in the Army

Let's Learn About Super Junior!~


Worrying for his fellow member awaiting army enlistment, Super Junior’s Leeteuk gave an encouraging message to Yesung.

On March 27, Leeteuk and Mighty Mouth’s Sangchoo were appointed as PR ambassadors for military affairs Seoul Regional Military Manpower Office.

After going through the appointment ceremony, Leeteuk said a few words for Yesung, who is scheduled to enlist in 2013. “I want to tell Yesung this: cheer up!” said Leeteuk. “I’m sure at this point, Yesung is worried mentally and physically, wondering if he’ll be able to do well. I also had those thoughts, but once I got here, I realized that anyone can do this. So Yesung, it’s really unfortunate when I see you now, but once you enlist, you’ll start feeling sorry for the ones who aren’t in the army yet and time will go fast.”

He hoped that Yesung will…

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ICYMI: Galaxy S 4, Electric Imp, and the whiniest people on the planet


While you were busy SXSWing last week, you may have missed out on some of our podcasts. What better time than now to catch up with a relaxing and informative weekend listen?

Hands on with the Galaxy S 4, RIP Google Reader and get better seats at the ballgame

(Download the weekly news wrapup)

IoT: Electric Imp aims to make connecting devices devilishly simple

(Download the Internet of Things show)

Call-in Show: Screen resolutions and Android battery suck

(Download the call-in show)

How SDN is disrupting the network landscape

(Download the GigaOM Research podcast)

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The week in cloud: VMware fesses up; Amazon churns out features; Newvem watches Amazon


VMware, at last, comes clean about its AWS killer

Remember last July when our own Om Malik and Stacey Higginbotham reported on VMware’s plan to take on Amazon with a cloud of its own?  Remember VMware denying it?  Well, last Wednesday it all became official with the announcement of VMware Hybrid Cloud services — in which VMware will host its own public cloud that will be sold by existing VMware partners.

Gartner’s Chris Wolf has an interesting take on his blog here.

Now, there is some wiggle room for VMware here. Our original story showed the big cloud coming out of the then-unannounced spin-off of VMware(s vmw) and EMC(s emc) That spinoff — the Pivotal Initiative — did happen, but it appears that it’s VMware, not Pivotal, that’s running the big cloud. Paul Maritz the former CEO of VMware and now the head of Pivotal, will be speaking this…

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